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fucking gl0w in the dark.'s Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
fucking gl0w in the dark.

You combed your hair inside that mirror, the one you painted blue and glued with jewelry tears. Something about those bright colors would always make you feel better.
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YYou offer only 5 replies, you know not what you do Y

this poison's my intoxication.. [Sunday
October 9th At 10:51AM]
[ mood | bored ]

Wow. I havn't written in here forever!!

Well, i'm over eric. It took awhile.. but i guess i am.. Yah.

I have a new boyfriend, Christopher Peters. He lives downstairs from me. He's 16. He's amazing. We've been dating since 8/17.. almost 2 months now. I love him so much. He has long, dark hair and these mesmerizing brown eyes. I could stare into them for hours. *dreamy sigh* lol.

Well, anyway, I'm at my mom's in Nashua, New Hamshire. I'm going back to New Bedford tonight. No school Monday. Yay! I kinda wanna go, since I wasn't in school Wednesday through Friday because my friend died. His name was Tom. He died on October 1st. The 1st wake was Wednesday, the 2nd was Thursday, and the funeral was Friday. He drank too much and he died in his sleep. He was only 21. ='[ We all love and miss you Tom, R.I.P.

On a happier note, I might be going to Pawtucket this Friday. I'm gunna try to Emerald Square Mall too. Oh how I miss that mall. So many memories practically every Friday night. =[ I hate how things change.

OH! I cut my hair. I really didn't want to, but I also wanted a change. It doesn't look that bad. =] It's short and I still got my emo-bangs. It's also still black. Hehe.

Well, I'm gunna go now. I love you all!!

YYou offer only 4 replies, you know not what you do Y

the only broken hearted loser you'll ever need.. </3 [Sunday
August 14th At 2:36AM]
[ mood | indercribable.. ]

i.. can't.. believe.. it.. i, i can't.. after all we went through.. after all the hardships we faced.. after every little thing that happened.. after all our memories.. after all the things we did together.. after everything.. after all the times he told me he would never love anyone else.. after he told me he'd never ever forget about me.. he tells her he loves her. how can this be? how can my life all come crashing down on me all at once? why does everything happen to me? what the fuck did i do wrong? i guess i'm just a fucking screw-up and i'm destined to be alone, and miserable, and depressed for the rest of my life.. ugh.. i can't even see the screen too well because i'm crying so hard.. how could he.. how could he even think about it.. after he promised me he loved me more than anything in the world, and with all his heart? after he told me he wished he could marry me and everything.. and then this? what the fuck did i do? ugh.. and i bet a bunch of people are happy about this.. about everyone's glad he doesn't love me anymore.. and i bet half the reasons are bullshit.. so many people hate me and they don't even know me.. there'll be a problem between me & a friend, and all of a sudden her friend starts making up plans to kill me and makes stupid little fucking cartoons about killing me and sarah.. GROW THE FUCK UP! and people just fucking start shit with me for no reason.. and they make up stupid immature nicknames for me.. and talk about me behind my back.. and i'm just s sick of it.. i just don't want to deal with it anymore.. i don't wanna have to deal with ANYONE anymore.. i'm so glad i'm starting a new school year.. i never, ever thought i would say that, but i am. that way, when i start school, i don't have to talk to anyone.. i don't have to get involved in any stupid drama/fights.. i don't have to worry about who's my friend or not.. i'm just gunna go through the last 3 years of highschool alone.. graduate alone.. probably live alone and end up dying alone..sounds good to me.. i don't even care.. fuck the world, and everyone in it.. i hope the world blows up & we all die..

YYou offer only 1 reply, you know not what you do Y

sugar we're g0ing d0wn swinging.. [Saturday
July 16th At 10:11AM]
[ mood | bored ]

Hello all.
First off, new layout. I like the black and white Gerard. Pre-short hair too. lol

Read more...Collapse )


YYou offer only 1 reply, you know not what you do Y

i still d0n't understAnd it.. [Sunday
May 22nd At 4:20AM]
[ mood | exhausted ]

It's 4:o2 in the morning. I was sleeping, then I woke up. I can't fall back asleep for the life of me. I guess it's just because I'm overwhelmed with thoughts. There's too much going on right now. Everything is just stressing me out. I've been dragging on all week. Everynight I get about, oh, somwhere between 4 and 7 hours asleep. Not much huh? Oh well. Things have been getting so hectic. I can't keep up, it's like one thing happens and then another is happening and i'm just like, wtf?!

I realized one thing I will never understand is why someone hates me. I mean, I never really did andything to that perosn. And to tell you the truth, I don't hate her, I don't even dislike her. I never have, despite what many people say. And that's just it, "what many people say". Nowadays, whenever someone says something, everyone listens to them without even consulting the person it has to do with. I mean, people do that shit to me all the time. If people would just shut their mouth, I'd be fine. But back to the person, I honestly have no clue why they hate me. I mean, I honestly don't remember doing anything to them, it was kinda just like "hey, you're cool, let's talk all the time -ALL.OF.A.SUDDEN- i hate you, don't talk to me, you're a whore." The pathetic thing is, I'm not really exaggerating either. It was that bad. The thing that sucks is, I actually would love to be friends with that person. I mean, we have so much in common and they're a really cool person, but, they just happen to hate me for reasons uknown, to me atleast. Oh well, I guess there's just some things you'll never know. This must be one of them. Alright, I guess I'm gonna try and go back to sleep. Bye.

s0 l0ng And g0odnight..

Y you know not what you do Y

<33333 [Saturday
May 21st At 4:25PM]
[ mood | stressed ]

new lay0ut..

Y you know not what you do Y

take, take, take, take, take, take it away.. [Saturday
May 21st At 4:23AM]
[ mood | surprised ]

Hi. The month of May offically sucked major ass. Everything bad imaginable coulda happened. My (almost) step-brother coulda died, my best friend coulda died, I almsot got arrested, I almost got suspended, my house caught on fire, I might (most likely) have to move. It's just completely sucked.

About my fire, yah, you've probably heard all about it. You've also probably heard atlest 5 different ways on how it started. The best one I've heard was that me and Eric Vacca were in the basement smoking pot. Haha. I got a good laugh outta that. The fire department said it was from "careless smoking" or "a ciggerette dropped on the couch". Bullshit. I didnt't drop it, and I put it out in my ashtray upstairs in my bedroom. So I still don't see how it was me, but whatever. Eric is convinced it was the microwave, but it didn't even have like, any damage to it. There wasn't that much damage, except to the furniture down there (it was brought in from the garbage). We didn't have water for a while, but now we still don't have electricity. We won't have that for a while. We probably won't even be able to go back.

My Dad's trying to say that we have to move from that house. So I was thinking we're just gunna move to a different house, but no, he tells me we might be moving to Massachusetts. Yah, back where I came from. WTF! I don't want to move. I have way too many awesome friends here. I made so many friends in the little time I was here. It seems like I've lived here all my life. It's awesome here. I don't wanna leave. Sarah said that I can live in a box in her laundry room in her room in her basement. I will! I'd even live in a box on the street if I really had too. I'M NOT MOVING!

Eric Couture has a girlfriend now. Yah, I hate him. Yet, I love him. He says he loves me, then he gets a girlfriend. What does he expect me to think? I mean, we had a good relationship, he said we never should have broken up, then he has a girlfriend and says he's trying to move on since my dad won't let us be together. Why can't we be together unofficially, or behind my dad's back?! I mean, I love him that much to do that. Obviously he doesn't love me as much as he says he does.. He confuses the hell outta me man. Ugh. I love him so god damn much though.. x3.Amber

YYou offer only 2 replies, you know not what you do Y

April 16th At 12:08PM]

What Napoleon Dynamite Phrase Are You?
Pick One
Your Phrase I see your drinking 1%, is that because you think that you're fat?!?
Napoleonness - 80%
Will You Ever Be As Cool As Napoleon?? (8) - Outlook good. - (8)
This cool quiz by pimpinit772 - Taken 212876 Times.
New! Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

YYou offer only 3 replies, you know not what you do Y

Oh how I miss my town.. [Tuesday
April 5th At 10:35AM]
[ mood | sick ]

I scored a 91% on the "How Raynham are you?" Quizie! What about you?</b>

Yah, I definatly miss Raynham! =(

I'm in Spanish right now in the computer lab. Lol. We're supposed to be at www.studyspanish.com. Haha, me, study spanish, yah right. Lol.

I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I'm majorly tired.

Update on Eric:
The restraining order is fake. They made Eric play along with it and stay away from me. He told me. Now we talk alot, and we're kind of unofficially dating. My dad and his girlfriend officially suck big balls. =)

I heard Jessy and Deb are dating. That made me happy and sad. Happy for them, but sad for me. Coz well, I like both of them.. *blush* Oh well, it could never work anyways.. =(

Well I'm out peoples. I love you all so much and miss you terribly. Hope to see you soon.

Always and forever. Amber. <3

YYou offer only 3 replies, you know not what you do Y

February 27th At 11:59AM]
[ mood | excited ]

© show some heart ©

Self-Injury: You are NOT the only one.</td>

Monday, March 1, 2004 is SI Awareness Day.

I'm at Laura's with Deb and Casey. It rocks. I havn't seen them in like, 4 months! It's so awesomfied! I havn't been so happy in a longgg time.

forever and always, Amber<3

love you Debbbbb <3

YYou offer only 2 replies, you know not what you do Y

February 21st At 4:37PM]
[ mood | blah ]

LJ Friends Meme by coolerq

• You must tell 18 people about this game.
Eric is the one that you love.
Deb is one you like but can't work out.
• You care most about Kristen.
Bria is the one who knows you very well.
Roger is your lucky star.
Give 'Em Hell Kid is the song that matches with Eric.
Helena is the song for Kristen.
Cold is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
• and Pain is the song telling you how you feel about life
Take this quiz

Dude, That is so true..
forever and always, Amber

YYou offer only 1 reply, you know not what you do Y

February 21st At 9:54AM]
[ mood | amused ]

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?Your hands
What makes you pretty?Your hair
What makes you loveable?How loving you are
What makes you fun?Your ability to keep smiling
What makes you irresistable?Your individuality
What makes you cute?How you kiss/hug
Quiz created with MemeGen!

YYou offer only 12 replies, you know not what you do Y

this.life.keeps.dragging.on [Monday
February 21st At 8:52AM]
[ mood | depressed ]

Hello everyone. I miss you all so much. My life hasn't been too good lately and I really need to get away. That's why I'm at my Mom's house in NH right now. I'll fill you in a bit about my last.. month I guess.

My pathetic life..Collapse )

Have fun reading. =)

Forever and always, Amber.</3

YYou offer only 4 replies, you know not what you do Y

December 31st At 8:49PM]
[ mood | blah ]

Hey everyone. I miss you all.

I got a cell phone for Christmas. It's a Virgin Mobile. I only have $30 on it so if we talk, I can't talk forever. Lol.

My number's 1-401-617=8656. =)
(By the way, my house number is 1-401-727-0249)

I love you all.


YYou offer only 3 replies, you know not what you do Y

December 24th At 9:44PM]


Y you know not what you do Y

December 24th At 8:03PM]
[ mood | blah ]

Hey you! Yeah you.


YYou offer only 1 reply, you know not what you do Y

December 19th At 2:38AM]
[ mood | tired ]

Hey, I'm babysitting at my aunt's. I'm tired, I'll update in the morning. Here's a survey for you: About my love..Collapse )
Sweet Dreams,
Amber Rose


YYou offer only 4 replies, you know not what you do Y

November 28th At 1:37PM]
[ mood | gloomy ]

Hey everyone! I miss you all so fucking much. I've been basically lost without you. I have pictures of everyone on my walls. I look at them everyday and remember the good days. I want to move back to Raynham and be with you all again and I know, (well, I think) you want the same. But, that wish can't come true. I've been trying to visit, but my dad's a prick. I will be coming down soon, I promise. My step-brother kinda thingy Eric Vacca's getting his license in January and he already said he'd drive me down there to see you. I love you all. I hope to see you all soon.

*hugs and kisses*
<3 Love always, Amber <3

Do this survey please.
Survey says..Collapse )

YYou offer only 5 replies, you know not what you do Y

October 28th At 5:18PM]
[ mood | stressed ]

( ) go out with me?

( ) give me your number?

( ) let me kiss you?

( ) have sex with me?

( ) watch a movie with me... even a really sappy one?

( ) let me take you out to dinner?

( ) drive me somewhere/anywhere?

( ) take a shower with me?

( ) be my gf/bf?

( ) have a fling with me?

( ) listen to me if I called you, crying, even if you were out with all of your friends?

( ) buy me a drink if I didn't have money?

( ) take me home for the night?

( ) let me sleep in your bed?

( ) sing car karaoke with me?

( ) sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?

( ) come and pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?

( ) re-post this for me to answer your questions?

Y = Yes.

N = No.

M = Maybe, depends.

O = Of course (apparently!)

* = Already have done.

= Decline to answer.

-- Stolen from Bria =]

YYou offer only 1 reply, you know not what you do Y

October 24th At 7:09PM]
[ mood | depressed ]


YYou offer only 2 replies, you know not what you do Y

October 12th At 3:39PM]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Wow.. Havn't updated in awhile. Today I stayed after school with Jessy. We went to the Rockin' K Cafe or whatever. We hung out with Jason *gasp* lol. Shaneith was there, but he had to leave to go to work! *tear* But yuh, it was wicked awesome. Me and Jessy gave Jason "an awesome picture" *wink* Haha. Wow, we're s random and weird. lol.

Dude, I have crush on too mny people. I like Eric Couture (..Idunno how to spell it), Kenny Hoegan and I kinda like 2 other people. 1 of them, is Shaneith hehe, the other.. we'll keep unnamed, because it's not good. Eek! *gasp* But yah.. I hate life, it's so complicated! lol.

I'm staying after Thursday again. Eek, yay! =) So much fun we will have! I hope me and Jessy can get alcohal. *wink* YAY!

Jeffy had a sad away message on and he wouldn't answer me and then he signed off. I'm very worried about him. Anyone have any idea of what's going on? I LOVE YOU JEFFY! (Don't worry Chrissy, he's still yours haha)

Well, I'm gonna go now. Bye-bye my loves. =) *kisses* xoxo <33 Amber Rose

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